Rebuilding the Foundation
By Anita Kelly Couch

The day had finally arrived! In just a few months, I would be graduating from high school; but in just a few hours, I would be auditioning for a singing group from the college I would be attending. Overwhelmed by the desire to know God’s will at this critical juncture of my life, I prayed for reassurance that morning, “Lord, would You give me clear direction?”  I then reached for my Bible which fell open to Psalm 40 and immediately my eyes focused on verse 3:

 “He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see it and fear and will trust in the Lord.” (NASB)

That was it! As I read that, I felt God was granting me confidence through His Word that I was going to be accepted into the group! That was indeed the outcome; however, what I did not realize at the time was that living this “dream” would begin one of the darkest chapters of my life.  Unfortunately, many of the pressures of the show group would become the perfect environment for an eating disorder to flourish.  I Peter 5: 8 states that we have an adversary, the devil, who roams about “seeking whom he may devour.” He found the opportunity to gain access to a vulnerable area of my life, thereby initiating his plan for my destruction.  The Scripture God had given me that morning proved to be somewhat prophetic. Listen to the passage in it’s’ entirety:

“I waited patiently for the Lord; And He inclined to me and heard my cry, He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.”   [Then] He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see it and fear and trust in the Lord.” (Psalms 40:  1-3)

Somehow I had missed earlier the part about the “pit of destruction” and the “miry clay!!!”  In the hopelessness and despair of my anorexia, God eventually heard my cry and brought me out of that pit and “set my feet upon a rock, making my footsteps firm!” Through the incredible suffering and the failures acquainted with an eating disorder, through the “rebuilding process”, He actually recreated the whole “foundation” of my faith, giving it substance and depth and  strength I had never known before. That is why I can now thank God for my eating disorder.  I know that may seem strange to you. Why? How? In love, God allowed this incredible trial in my life to strengthen my faith. But you see the strengthening came through the struggling, much like a butterfly’s wings are strengthened as it struggles to be released from the cocoon so it can fly! In fact, God also used the struggle to demonstrate to me that my faith was genuine as I began to see victory over bulimia. Each time I did not binge when I so wanted to, I realized that I really do believe God is sufficient and that my faith was ‘really real!’”

Only God in His infinite power and wisdom can take something as ugly and painful as an eating disorder or other events that you may have suffered in your past and turn it around and use it in such a tremendous way for our good. Be encouraged that He is ready to show Himself mighty on your behalf, if you will give your heart fully and completely to Him!! (2 Chronicles 16:9)

How has God restructured the foundation of my faith? Again it was actually through the suffering that I came to a much fuller understanding of three key truths that have been critical to my healing. They are three “foundation stones”, if you will, God put into place:

Safety of His Sovereignty            Security of His Love             Significance of His Acceptance

The first “foundation stone” was an understanding of The Safety of His Sovereignty.  We can be confident of God’s promise to complete the good work He has started in us, according to Philippians 1:6.  God has determined that each of His children is going to look like Jesus! (Romans 8: 29) God knows exactly what it is going to take to accomplish that.  Be comforted by the fact that you are held safely in His hands and nothing can come into your life unless it first passes through His fingers of love.  So whatever trial or difficulty that comes, you can know that God has allowed it and by His mighty power, God will weave it into the fabric of your life so that you will reflect in a clearer, more distinct way the beauty and loveliness of Jesus.  What Satan may mean for destruction or discouragement, God allows for His greater purposes in you and me!  There is a “method to the madness” and I can rest in His control of my life’s circumstances. Yes, it was incredibly painful, but the eternal result that God has produced far outweighs the temporary pain. (2 Corinthians 4:17) Had I not been brought to total helplessness, I would never have sought so earnestly and embraced so fully God’s amazing character and wondrous ways.

The second “foundation stone” was an understanding of The Security of His Love.  Up until that time, I had never been able to fully emotionally experience the unconditional love of God. I lived by the motto, “The more I achieve, the more I receive!”  Surely God would love me more if I accomplished more “for Him!” My perfectionism kept me always striving for more. Yet anorexia exhausted me of all my strength and resources to “help” myself; it was through this exhaustion that I came to see in a way I had never seen before God’s power and unfailing love for me. Ironically, through my failure to overcome anorexia and bulimia on my own cemented the fact that there is absolutely nothing I can do that will ever separate me from His love (Romans 8: 39), because “He loves me with an everlasting love” (Jeremiah 31:3)  His love for me has never been nor ever will be based on my performance; His love is based on Christ’s performance on the cross! He died a tortuous death so that you and I would never doubt His love for us again. Calvary was God’s ultimate expression of love. Because of Christ’s death, that which separated me from God (my sin) has been forever dealt with and now “my name is inscribed on the palms of His hands.” (Isaiah 49:16)

“He dances over me with singing and He quiets me with His love..” (Zephaniah 3:17) And now because of Jesus, I am precious in His sight and I can find my Significance in His Acceptance. Ephesians 1 speaks to the third foundation stone, The Significance in His Acceptance.  We were chosen in Christ before the foundation of the world. We were adopted as daughters of the King! We now have His favor. We stand before Him totally accepted, because of the “riches of His grace which He has lavished upon us.” What a gift! Could we be any more significant than that?! No, we could never earn or deserve it. Before, we were slaves to sin which means that sin actually did have the power to control us; but now, by trusting in Christ’s accomplishment on the cross, we can be set us free from the control of sin! This means that by trusting in Him, the power of anorexia or bulimia to dominate our lives has been broken! “If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed!” (John 8:  36)

As we close, my mind is drawn to Jesus’ words in Matthew 7 as he contrasted the wise and foolish man.  A woman who builds her life on the solid Rock of Jesus Christ and His Word will have a foundation so strong that when the storms and overwhelming stresses of life come like a flood, she will remain strong and unshaken. She may struggle, yes; but her faith will only be made stronger through all that she endures.  So our spirits can be at rest, for we have embraced the Safety of His Sovereignty.  If God has allowed it, He promises to use it! Yet we must surrender. We can live in the Security of His Love; we are His and nothing we do can change that! Our lives can exude joy and confidence, not because of whom we are or what we have done, but because we have  found our Significance in His Acceptance. Yet we must choose to believe.

How strong is your foundation?

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